So

I was laying in bed doing stuff and I hear someone opening doors in my
house
My mom was at work and my brother was at school.
So then I hear probably 2 people talking and walking around, so I call
my grandmother to see if its her, and it isn't so I call 9-1-1
And then the dude asks me shit like how many people, etc
Then a police officer comes and checks my whole house out

And apparently they left, but I swear on my fucking life there was
someone here..

Also

I just found out this really weird movie that's been on for the past
hour is called "Bangkok Dangerous"

Isn't Nicholas Cage in a movie called this?

Oh well, the film adaption of Choke finally is being released widely to
mainstream movie theaters later this month I believe. I am more than
stoked, I love Palahniuk novels and Palahniuk in general, if I could
meet anyone right now, it would honestly be him.

I mean, did anyone reading this NOT enjoy Fight Club?
Seriously?

So basically,
I'm giving this whole blogging business another go.
AKA ashleyonlygoesforartsyedgydudes.com

So its 4:45 AM right now and I am sitting in my kitchen playing with my
cat also known as Sir Cozzworth also known as Cozzy. He's basically a
rad 20lb ball of fur that meows uncontrollably at 6am outside your door
until you feed his fat kitty body treats.

Honestly, I prefer cats over dogs, shoot me.
Cats are just chill, I like dogs, just cats tend not to be as annoying
or smelly. I've had a dog and enjoy the company of other peoples' dogs,
but I am happy with just a cat.

My track record with animals is as follows:
I had a hamster named Fuffy (long story)
Fuffy was ALWAYS in his frigging wheel like non-stop.
Fuffy unfortunately had a severe reaction to a new brand of bedding
(walmart&etc apparently stopped making his kind?) which resulted in him
meeting his hamster demise via his hamster wheel. As a little kid this
was odd, but it didn't really totally bother me, I was never one of
those kids who would freak out if they saw a dead bird or anything.

I've also had hermit crabs and fish that didn't live that long (who was
I kidding? Those things basically have a pre-stamped expiration date on
their shell.)

I got my cat on the first day of 5th grade. I was bugging my mom for
one the whole summer before and when I arrived home from my first day of
fifth grade, there was this tiny kitten in my living room.

I also had a dog which was part golden retriever part german shepard
named Winston. It was basically my mom's alcoholic ex boyfriend at the
time's dog so whatevs, it was obnoxious and we had to give it to someone
we knew or something.

Then, the day my mom was diagnosed with cancer, we got a red beta fish
(that fish had a different name every week, it basically had a permanent
fish identity crisis) that lived like 2 YEARS. It was ridiculous.

So after 8 years this cat is still alive and well and 20 pounds heavier
than when we got it.

It's pretty sweet to be honest it bites bad people and keeps me company
while I watch Dexter and Weeds religiously.

Do you have any pets? Feel free to share via comments.

AKA don't be jerks and just not say anything THNX.