the weather is here, wish you were beautiful

when I hit a low, it's not any kind of low other than the most severe
kind I can imagine.

It's this kind of thing where all I want to do is sleep,
But I can't sleep.

My mom cares more about her asshole druggie boyfriend than me. Which is
why I was stranded in bad Reading for an hour today. Then she 'loses'
her car keys? . Oh ok.

She suggested we all go to see the Dark Knight as a family and I was up
for it, but then last minute as they're walking out the door she tells
me I can't go. I haven't felt a part of this family for awhile. My
mom's mom and my cousins feel more like family to me than my brother and
mom.

She's never home, and even when she is she's not really here anyway,
she's basically here to tell me what a failure I am and make me feel
even more like shit. My brother's no better, all he does is sit on the
computer all the time. He never talks to me anymore really and when he
does it's just for him to be an asshole about something.

This isn't my house, I don't know these people anymore its like I was
just dropped here till something significant in my life happens.

I have friends, I have a boyfriend.
I like to spend time with them.

Lately I've been going outside a lot because it's better even though I
do get a stuffed up nose than being inside the house full of negativity
which is making me sick in less obvious ways.